#SheToo - listening to older women
The #SheToo Campaign is about listening to older women who experience sexual abuse/assault. It recognises that the #MeToo movement empowered women - who already had a degree of empowerment (social media access, independence from perpetrator, speech/communication and cognitive abilities). Some older women cannot speak up - and many who do report that we are not listening.
The #SheToo Campaign was co-led by 96 year old Margarita Solis whose life was transformed by those who listened when she reported sexual abuse. Margarita is a Fellow of the Elder Leadership Academy and her Fellowship focuses on resources for preventing sexual abuse/assault of older women. You can read more about Margarita's experiences and watch her film by clicking the link here. The #SheToo Campaign includes Margarita's strategies for listening to older women and an awareness raising campaign for International Women's Day.
The #SheToo Campaign was co-led by 96 year old Margarita Solis whose life was transformed by those who listened when she reported sexual abuse. Margarita is a Fellow of the Elder Leadership Academy and her Fellowship focuses on resources for preventing sexual abuse/assault of older women. You can read more about Margarita's experiences and watch her film by clicking the link here. The #SheToo Campaign includes Margarita's strategies for listening to older women and an awareness raising campaign for International Women's Day.
Strategies for listening to older women - by Margarita Solis
- Use your eyes to listen as well as your ears. Don’t just hear. You also need to notice signs if an older woman is not her usual happy self, or is not well.
- Check in and ask: “are you alright?” And if she says: “I’m fine thank you.” Check in again later and say: “you don’t look like your usual self, you don’t seem to be happy. Is there anything you want to talk to me about? Can I help you in some way?”
- Show an interest. If an older woman knows that you care - she will feel safer to tell you how she is actually feeling.
- Be respectful of older women - don’t poke fun at them because they will think you won’t be interested in listening to them. If you do things like telling stupid jokes about ageing, it may lead her to believe because she’s old, she must be stupid, or because of how she looks, or dresses, or her frailties, she is somehow not worthy or you just won’t believe her. To be sure, don’t share cartoons, or post cards that are ageist making older people look silly or ugly, or saying ageist things.
- Make sure your language is never ageist or mocking of older women – or any older people for that matter.
- Make sure the older woman knows she is in the driver’s seat - that you are there to listen and help if she wants help. Give her permission to talk about sexual abuse.
- Your actions as you are listening can clearly communicate to an older women that you don’t believe them. You must always believe that she is telling you the truth - until it is proved otherwise!
- I know some older women who have told someone they have been sexually assaulted and have not been believed. This can make them reluctant to tell anyone else. But if you are encouraging, they might trust you to talk about what is, or has been, happening to them.
- Some older women feel ashamed of sexual abuse and blame themselves - or are worried that others will blame them. Tell older women it’s not their fault. That is essential.
- Just because we are older women we are NOT stupid. Don’t underestimate the intelligence or the resilience of older women. Talk to them and get to know them. They should not be relegated, but treated with respect for their intelligence, life experiences, and their education more generally.
- Remember that Centres Against Sexual Violence have wonderful counsellors who can assist you – whether or not you want to make a complaint to police.
- Remember too that police can help you to make your complaint so that it is dealt with in court.
- Australian states and territories have support agencies that assist survivors or victims of crime through the court process.
- Your own personal networks will also be very important. Social isolation can cause you to lose confidence. Try to keep engaged with other people where you live, or join a senior’s group, or perhaps even say hello to or chat with people at the shops.
International Women's Day 2019
On International Women's Day 2019 we are asked service providers, community members and families to share the hashtag #SheToo and include their statement of commitment to listen to older women. You are welcome to download the images below to share on social media. The one on the bottom left has been designed to fit Facebook dimensions and the one on the right is suitable for Twitter.
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Other resources
The #SheToo Campaign is part of the OPAL Institute's Power Project, aimed at preventing the sexual abuse of older women. There are 10 other pages of resources and information and we encourage you to read them by clicking on the link here.
Media
Please see attached media release here and thank you to the journalists who covered the launch of the Campaign, including the following:
- Wendy Searle. Its not your shame. here
- HelloCare. 94-Year-Old Sexual Assault Victim Encourages Others To Speak Out. here
- Starts at 60. Listen to older women’: 96-year-old sexual assault victim’s powerful plea: here
- HelloCare. SheToo Campaign – 96 Year Old Margarita Launches Campaign Focusing On Listening To Older Women: here
Contact us
Partners
The #SheToo Campaign is a collaboration between the OPAL Institute, part of the Celebrate Ageing Program, Senior's Rights Service, Ageing and Disability Advocacy Australia, CASA Forum, Gold Coast Centre Against Sexual Violence and HelloCare.
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